My Dream Last Night & a Note on Kindness

I woke up this morning, covered in sweat and feeling defeated. I had a very vivid dream last night that shook me up and pissed me off. Have you had a dream (or nightmare) like that before? I can recall most of it and even feel the physical sensations occurring. In my dream, some boys from my high school were bullying me. This was strange because outside of the occasional middle-school teasing accusations of being anorexic or bulimic due to my small frame and the time in 6th grade when one classmate paid another to chuck a basketball at my head, I wasn't bullied. But in my short dream, I felt the despair of a bullied victim for what felt like eternity.

The boys in my dream were coming at me with a vicious, snarling dog. They were laughing at me as I ran to my car and tried to jump in. As I was closing the door, one of the boys caught it and held it open. I was pulling the door shut with all of my strength, but it wasn't enough. The dog fit his face in the crack and was biting me, tearing my clothes to shreds. I was screaming HELP, over and over, yet nobody was listening. The boys laughed even more, reminding me that nobody was coming to save me. My voice eventually dissolved into a dry whisper as I started to lose my voice. The tears came and I kept tugging at the door until it fell off, leaving me to defend myself with a heavy door.

Help, help please! I was crying out and the people in the distance would look at me and keep walking. Why weren't they doing something about it? How can they just watch me?

My throat felt raw and I knew I wasn't being heard anymore. At this point, I woke up, my back wet in sweat. I was furious still, at the fact that nobody cared enough to come save me in my dream. That people could be so cruel, laughing while watching another human in pain and despair.

While none of this crazy dream is a reflection on anybody I actually know (myself included), my heart goes out today to those who have been bullied and abused. Who feel forgotten and alone. Those of you who feel like you're being pushed underwater, each time you try to come up to catch a breath. Who feel the pain of being mocked and laughed at for a cruel joke that isn't funny. Those of you hurt emotionally or physically. I want you to know that you are not alone. Keep getting back up, don't let anyone's actions define you. You are worthy of everything you want. I'm sorry for the bullying you've endured and I am here for you when you need someone to have your back. My mother taught me at a very young age that I was to be kind to everyone and to stick up for anyone being bullied, which has stuck with me my entire life.

Let's all practice compassion and kindness today and everyday. You never know who is fighting a vicious, snarling dog in their life. 

xo
J